If you give an editor a dad joke, you get a style guide menu. Welcome to the style guide food court! Every menu option presented tongue in cheek, but with some respect, too, because every guide has its purpose and audience, and (whisper it!) as editors, we really do love each one of them, quirks and all!
Chicago: Every possible combination of buns, dogs, toppings, sides, and beverage suggestions. Tried and true; exhaustive and exhausting. Whatever the artisanal hot dog question, the definitive hot dog answer is here; you just need to work for it. Can’t find what you’re looking for? It’s in the Index somewhere; can you not read? Disagree with a style decision? How awful it must be to be wrong.
Menu updated: During the occasional space of liminal time wherein societal and continental drift means it must, ugh.
UberEats delivery fee: If you have to ask, you can’t afford it.
MLA: High school cafeteria hot dogs; minimalism in every bite, but wow, what a snap! Menu clearly defines the essential hot dog outline: thesis statement bun, introduction relish, body dog, contrasting arguments mustard, and conclusion ketchup. Hot and ready and to the point. Perfect meal for the night before whatever’s due.
Menu updated: …does a new cover design count?
UberEats delivery fee: Free. Hardly anyone orders this voluntarily; it’s the least we can do.
APA: What would happen if we just injected the hot dogs with the toppings instead of smothering them? You’ll find out here. Please memorize your combo number and/or acronym before ordering; we’re on a deadline here, and actual words use a lot of time. Just really wants to be loved by those outside the math and physical, biological, and behavioral science community; is that too much to ask?
Menu updated: Twelve (12) seconds after the user base has finally gotten its head around it.
UberEats delivery fee: $3.1415926535
Turabian: Chicago hot dogs condensed with elegance and efficiency. The toppings are limited, but all free range and organic. Buns baked fresh. Menu generally recommended by those who a) think Chicago just, like, really overcomplicates things, and b) just enjoy saying Turabian (Two-RAY-bee-ehn. Excellent.).
Menu updated: Like, there’s no real deadlines in this class.
UberEats delivery fee: Free, because knowledge should always be free, amirite?
AP: Hot dogs at their most streamlined, but make it fashion! Always first out of the gate with the new trendy toppings and how to use them; where our menu goes, most others eventually follow. Best explanations of toppings out there; menu says in 10 words what takes Chicago others 100. Combo meals come with Tuscan fries and a copy of The Elements of Style.
Menu updated: Every two years; so on the scale of style guide time, every 30 seconds.
UberEats delivery fee: Free with code APRULES Tuesday–Friday. Like and follow for more!
GPO: …ostensibly the hot dogs are cooked? Toppings strictly limited to Ketchup, Mustard, and Relish, and all come Capitalized For Classified Reasons. Buns can be a little stale, but sometimes we do what we gotta do.
Menu updated: Every six years, or so. These things take time.
UberEats delivery fee: You Have Food At Home, Kid.
